Because it’s Valentine’s Day I feel inclined to write about love. Before you groan and close this window, I want you to know that I am going to speak about different kinds of love: The love of imperfection, the love of introspection, and the love of intention.
Embrace your (Im)perfection
You are perfect. Yes, you. You are perfect the way you are. Does this mean that you lack flaws? No, of course not. It means that you are made to be exactly how you were intended to be. You are perfectly imperfect. Your creator is perfect and He does not make mistakes. Once you realize that you are perfect in the skin you are in, you can start to love yourself.
Somewhere along the line we were taught that “normal” is good and being “different” is flawed…What if I told you that “different” doesn’t have to have that negative connotation? (Spaz 195)
True introspection is challenging. It forces us to take time to pause and reflect on ourselves and on our own well-being. If you’re a busy parent or an unruly young adult, you may feel too busy to spend time with the one person who needs you the most: You. You may need self-care in the form of exercise or a pedicure. Maybe you need a night under the stars stripped away from technology? Perhaps you need to craft or build something with your bare hands? Self-care is unique to each person. You cannot reflect on yourself by doing what someone else thinks you need to do. Self-care is about yourSELF. You spend most of your time being SELFless. Isn’t it time to be a little SELFish? Think about it. What do you need to do to love yourself?
Look around you. Do you see people who make mistakes? Do you see people who are hurting? Do you see people desperate to “keep up with the Jones?” Desperate to be popular? Desperate to be liked?
What if you simply just liked them. What if you set forth with the intention to love someone right exactly where and how they are now?
Imagine if you knew that people would love you if you were the one making mistakes or if you were the one hurting? What if you knew that someone would love you even if you just couldn’t keep up with those dang Jones? Would you still try to put up a front and mask your true self? I don’t think so. We strive to be something we are not because we are afraid that no one will love us the way we truly are. So what if we intentionally loved them just the way they are. I bet you would find that they love you too…Just the way you are.
When someone takes the time to learn about him and his quirks, be they associated with his ADHD or not, that partner will accept that there is a reason for the quirks and they will love the ADHDer in spite of them. Or maybe even because of them. (Spaz 191)